Oneliner Drabbles Part 2
by Rapt0rix
Summary: On Livejournal, it's a game where I ask my friends to give me a pairing and a prompt, and I'll write them a short oneliner or close to it drabble based on that. Contains spoilers, crack, and nearsmut.


**Title:** Oneliner meme drabbles (Part 2)  
**Rating:** PG-13, maybe a mild R for Shini's prompts.  
**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to their respective owners, and none of them are mine.

**kaeruchan**   
**Kurosaki family + Sunday mornings**  
Ichigo always hated Sunday mornings. Isshin was off that day (except for emergencies), and his sisters didn't have school. It wasn't uncommon for all three to wake him up on Sunday mornings by all piling onto his bed, and usually jumping on his bed while they were at it...

**shinigamikender**   
**Kuukaku/Mayuri + hump**  
"You know, I did some studies and discovered slouching has no connection with growing a hump in your geriatric years." Mayuri pointed out to Kuukaku.

**Konchigo/Ishida + nipple clamps**  
Ishida eyed the mod soul inhabiting Ichigo's body. "What are these and why are you showing them to me?" Ishida held the nipple clamps at arm's length, as if they were a disgusting insect.

**Grimmjaw/Urquiola + rimjob**  
Grimmjaw had to admire Urquiola's taste in car rims, this latest rim-job looked especially snazzy on his new Scion xB.

**Kisuke/Ichigo + penis**  
Shortly after his first encounter with Ichimaru Gin, Ichigo remembered a nugget of advice Urahara had given him during his training. _"Zanpakuto size is never an indicator of one's penis size."_

**Nakim/Urquiola + pleasure**  
Urquiola could not comprehend the level of pleasure that Nakim the fat Arrancar got out of consuming twelve Big Macs in one sitting.

**Gin/Rangiku + what's in your pants?**  
Rangiku smiled coyly at Gin, noticing a bulge in his pants. "What's in your pants?" Rangiku purred.

Gin retreived the item stashed in his haori. "Just an oversized box of pocky Ukitake-taichou just gave me! I like my pocky somewhat melted!" Gin's smirked. Matsumoto resisted the urge to fall flat on her face in astonishment.

**Byakuya/Ichigo + surprise!buttsex!**  
The day after the Aizen incident on Soukyou Hill, Byakuya was found recouperating from his severe wounds in the 4th Division's ward. Unohana had prescribed a potent pain reliever comparable to morphine for the Noble's relief.

Of course, shortly after he was prescribed such medication, he had managed to wander out of his room and into Ichigo's. The hallucinating 6th captain snuck (as drugged as he was) up next to Ichigo's bed, screamed out "SURPRISE BUTTSEX!" and collapsed over the young man's bed.

It took five of the largest 4th division members to drag Byakuya back to his bed and restrain him there. Unohana was relieved that the medication she had given him would allow him to have no memory of the incident.

**Ryuuken/Nanao + baby makin'!**  
Uryuu never exactly got the 'how babies are made' speech from either of his parents. Ryuuken was conveniently always at work and Nanao didn't live in the material world at all. Fortunately, Souken was very kind to Uryuu and answered all the young boy's question's about reproduction.

**Yumichika/Hanatarou + tentacle rape!**  
Yumichika was rather shocked and disturbed when he roused the sleeping fourth squad member (who had fallen asleep while sweeping) and the young shinigai screamed out "Please Kalamari-kun don't tentacle rape me!"

**kenbu**   
**Urahara Shouten crew/Yoruichi + field trip**  
Of all the feild trips that the Urahara Shouten crew took on holidays, the one that Yoruichi despised the most (in cat form, at least) was the beach. Sand, water, and fur were never a comfortable mix.

**krishimchan**   
**Ichigo/Rukia + Camera Pictures**  
Once, Ichigo and Rukia took a photo together. However, Ichigo regretted it later, because he was still in shinigami form. He wouldn't be able to show most of his friends the photograph and tell them it was of him and his girlfriend.

**mellfromva** (Sortinghat-related, so these will all be crossover with other characters)

**Keigo/Misato + food**  
The only other thing Keigo enjoyed sneaking out to do with Misato was to pig out in the kitchens late at night. Those House Elves were ever so obliging in sating their sweet tooth, and they usually sent the kids packing with nearly a fridge full of food by the time they were gone.  
Of course, the only reason why they didn't get so fat from so much food was that they usually exercised all those extra calories off shortly after pigging out...

**Ishida/Izumi + tailoring**  
The only time Ishida didn't cower in fear for his face's bone structure was the one rare time Izumi came to him needing some tailoring work done. He was more than happy to oblige (in fear, naturally), but the fear just empowered his skills even more to make sure he didn't make a single mistake.

**Hinata/Chizuru + toys**  
One time, out of boredom, Hinata used her Byakuugan to explore behind the walls of her dorm room to see what was hiding back there. Hinata was rather shocked when she noticed stashed in Chizuru's trunk some rather unique... 'toys' she had never seen before.

**missayachan**   
**Renji/Uryuu + Quincy extermination**  
Renji couldn't blame Ishida for hating Shinigami. Especially after learning about how the 12th captain was single-handedly responsible for Quincy extermination. It was truely a shame that such spirtually capable mortals had to die for the sake of a single selfish shinigami's research.

**kinoscythe**  
**Grimmjaw/Hiyori + Sleep**  
Grimmjaw regarded Hiyori like an annoying yappy little bitch of a dog. The kind that bit the hand that fed it. The kind that needed to be put to sleep.

**Shinji/Hiyori + Dream**  
Hiyori's greatest dream was to some day get Shinji to an orthodontist to fix that creepy overbite of his.

**Yumichika/Soi Fong + Flutter**  
Soi Fong had to admit that Yumichika was perhaps the _gayest_ man in 11th squad--no, in the whole Gotei 13--when she swore she saw him _flutter_ along behind his captain.

**Byakuya/Kiyone + Respect**  
When Isane informed her younger sister of the _exact_ value of the 'hair noodles' that she had always admired Kuchiki-taichou wearing, she was filled with utmost respect--and envy. Kiyone's mouth watered at the thought of how much sweets and snacks she could buy with that amount of money.

**Grimmjaw/Hiyori + Kiss**  
Grimmjaw and Hiyori looked at each other, then over at Reki-chan.  
"Like _Hell_ I'd kiss that Bastard/Bitch" They both said in unison, (except for that last part...)

**Grimmjaw/Hiyori/Shinji + Betrayal**  
Shinji was shocked and angry! He had been _Betrayed!_ The mother of his five children was sharing a bed with that _hotshot_ Grimmjaw! _HOW COULD SHE!_  
Then Grimmjaw got bored and left the set of the Soap Opera, mumbling about having to go murder some writers.

**Grimmjaw/Hiyori + Lust**  
"I could care less how big your wang is. Right now I just want to see you bleed from head to toe!" Hiyroi grinned, the bloodlust showing in her eyes.

**Shinji/Hiyori + Hurt**  
Hiyori was _devastated!_ Shinji's hard head had finally caused her favorite sandals to _BREAK!_ Hiyori mourned the loss of her best pair of sandals, not even batting a lash at the massive headwound Shinji was suffering.

**Shinji/Hiyori + Hug**  
Shinji was taken aback when Hiyori wrapped her arms around him in what appeared to be a hug. But then he realized the girl's real intent when she ran off, cackling. She just wanted the candy bar in his back pocket.

**Shinji/Hiyori + Blood**  
Shinji knew that Ichigo couldn't make Hiyori bleed. He could nearly strangle her to death, but he wouldn't be able to spill a single drop of her blood. Only _Shinji_ could make her bleed.

**Yumichika/Soi Fong + Breathe**  
"Breathe, idiot!" Soi Fong slapped the flamingly gay fifth seater on the back. He had just gotten his latest issue of _Vogue_, and the new spring collection had taken his breath away.

**Yumichika/Soi Fong + Touch**  
Soi Fong glared daggers at Reki-Chan, just as Grimmjaw had earlier.  
"I wouldn't even want to touch that queer's penis with a ten foot pole!"

**Byakuya/Kiyone + Kiss**  
"What the _hell_ are you doing!" Sentarou stared bewildered at Kiyone. He had caught her making out with her life-sized cardboard cutout of Kuchiki-taichou. Again.

**Byakuya/Kiyone + Love**  
When asked on the subject, Byakuya admitted that he had as much love for Kiyone as he had love for cockroaches and spoiled milk.

**Byakuya/Kiyone/Ukitake + Master**  
"Haha! You suck at being a master!" Sentarou mocked Kiyone. She had just adopted two stray puppies and named them Byakuya and Ukitake. 'Byakuya' had pissed on her hakama, and 'Ukitake' was trying to get into her snacks stash.

**Byakuya/Kiyone/Ukitake + Loyalty**  
Kiyone's heart may lie with Kuchiki-taichou, but her loyalty had, and forever will remain with Ukitake-taichou.


End file.
